So it is 100% official; we are moving forward with IVF. We knew we were going to be doing IVF, but there was still a part of both of us that thought that maybe, just maybe we would be lucky enough to get pregnant on our own last cycle. No dice. I started my pre-AF bleeding on Thursday and even though this happens every month, I always think that there is a chance that maybe the bleeding is a good sign. It never is. So in the middle of the night, I woke up to a full on flow. Like all over my sheets in the middle of the night with horrible cramps period. Really? Why can't you just show up without making a big scene? Why does it have to be like a sucker punch? Well, F you too AF....F you too.
I go to the RE on Thursday for my CD3 bloodwork and ultrasound. Provided that there are no surprises at my appointment, I will be starting the BCP and will get instructions about when to start Lupron injections and stop the BCP. Good times.
I still am having a hard time believing that we are really starting an IVF cycle. How did this happen? I am still baffled that we've been on this journey for almost 2 years. I am tired of this. I want to be normal again. I don't want to be broken. I want to have a baby like I did before. I am a good mother. I can do this. I want to do this. Please please please let this be it for us. I don't think I can handle much more of this. I just want to be in the delivery room with Mr. Lovey Pants crying and loving our beautiful little miracle. I am begging for this to be the beginning of our miracle.
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